Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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