I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
