If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
