and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
