I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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