I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i don't like sucking hair
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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