susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
