You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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