i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize