I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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