i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just pee around me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
