The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
