I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
