Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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