It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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