Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
