just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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