If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize