I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
