Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
