yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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