someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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