so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
