When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
