It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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