hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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