I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
