I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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