k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
