she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
