In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
