He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No subtext here. People are naked.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
