I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
