white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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