dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
