Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
