Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
