I can't breathe out the right side of my face
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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