i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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