.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
