This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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