Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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