oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
