is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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