why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
