You smell like a Billy Joel song
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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