I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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