Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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