I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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