I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sorry my hands just texted you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
