stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize