Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
