why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
