my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
