Your tits are I can't wait for
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
