Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
