is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Slut skills are useful in every country.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
