Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Pants are for mortals
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize