hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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