Plan B is the new Plan A
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
