I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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