but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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