____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
