you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
